This morning, Subtack appeared before me seemingly out of nowhere. I was aware of its existence, but I’d never really paid it any mind. Now that I’m here, I find myself questioning the purpose of these words, wondering why I even decided to start writing them.

If I take a moment to reflect, I realize that writing is something I truly love. I don’t do it nearly enough, which might lead some to think I don’t believe in myself, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I genuinely do. I may not consider myself particularly skilled at it, but writing offers me a release for all the thoughts swirling in my head. I struggle with verbal communication, often battling anxiety whenever I attempt to “open up.” Speaking can make me feel panicked, yet some say that when I do finally share my thoughts, my words carry weight. I find that encouraging, even if I can’t quite grasp why or how. I tend to be slow to speak, preferring to observe and listen, allowing others to express themselves. I’ve learned that rushing to speak can lead to misunderstandings and frustration. I dislike being interrupted or having my words misconstrued.

Writing provides me with a voice. It allows me to take my time and articulate feelings I might otherwise keep hidden, thoughts I wish someone could know. Who doesn’t desire to be heard? To be heard is to be seen, and who wouldn’t crave that acknowledgment? Feeling seen by those who matter to you instills confidence and reinforces your sense of worth. These feelings are vital. While it’s important not to become overly concerned with others’ opinions, I believe this is different—being seen is not the same as being consumed by what others think.

Being seen means that the most vulnerable parts of you resonate with someone. When you feel seen and heard, it’s as if you can finally draw a deep breath. Your shoulders relax, the knot in your stomach dissipates, and you feel loved. It’s like receiving a warm embrace.

On the other hand, seeking approval or worrying about others’ perceptions can trap you. Vulnerability fades as the focus shifts to saying and doing what you think will please them. How liberating is that feeling? Not at all. You lose your true self in the pursuit of their approval. It doesn’t feel like a hug; instead, it becomes isolating and bleak.

So, here I am, sharing my thoughts as I embark—perhaps tentatively—on this Subtack journaling journey. Writing these words brings me a sense of relief. Life isn’t solely about feelings, but expressing myself in this way grants me a freedom that sets a better tone for my day ahead.